Qualities of Introverts
By Miranda van der Endt
Introverts are people who get their energy from spending time alone, according to Dr. Jennifer Kahnweiler, author of The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength. “It’s kind of like a battery they recharge,” she says. “And then they can go out into the world and connect really beautifully with people.”
A 2008 study published in the Journal of Motor Behavior found that introverts take a longer time to process information than extroverts. Kahnweiler says this is actually because they process more thoughtfully than extroverts do — they take extra time to understand ideas before moving on to new ones.
While we’re all often flooded with messages that we need to speak up and stand out in order to be successful, introverts can actually achieve even more if they hone their natural strengths, says Beth Buelow, author of The Introvert Entrepreneur: Amplify Your Strengths and Create Success on Your Own Terms.
Here are some of the benefits of being an introvert according to Buelow:
- They’re good listeners
- They think before they speak
- They’re observant
- They make loving romantic partners
- They’re thoughtful networkers
- They make quality friends
Know your qualities
Introversion and extraversion are both neither good nor bad. It is just behaviour It is just different. Every person has a unique and highly personal combination of introverted and extroverted preferences. It is not about properties carved in rock, but about tendencies, and these can even differ per situation or life phase.
For example according to the traits mentioned by Buelow, I have most of the qualities of introversion, but not all. In many cases I tend to speak before I think and I am not a good networker at all! Instead I can be very spontaneous and warm and it depends on the situation. Most people are a mixed personality experiencing the qualities to a greater or lesser degree.
Every psychologist knows we are all different and at the same time we are all unique, but to make things measurable we need to appoint, quantify and investigate different personalities, traits and behaviour.
If I talk about introverts I don’t mean you have to be a real introvert according to tests. I mean If you are like me, for example experiencing problems to let yourself be seen, feel there is more to you and can’t see your own potential yet, then I’m speaking to you. I know what you are experiencing and want to help you overcome it.
Why do we need to label?
For psychologists framing is a way to understand the differences in people better. Clients most of the time find it helpful to know there are more people like them, to understand why they felt that way and to know they are not alone. I know the struggle. I understand the wish to fit in too.
When we are young there is a time when it is normal we don’t want to be different. We often feel unsafe if we can’t be part of a collective and feel the need to fit in. We learn to fit in for survival and wellbeing. Sometimes it is difficult to adapt and fit in. How do we do that, when we are all unique?
When we are young we try to simplify the world so we can comprehend and cope with the situations. We make it easy for ourselves by creating groups in our minds. For example: He is OK, he is not. Or she is cool, so if I act like her, I am cool too.
Dare to live
We simplify our world like this to comprehend and manage the diversity and complexities in the world. When we get older, to be happy we need to accept the fact we are all unique, different and also similar. I’d love to help you to see your unique talents and at the same time see the bigger picture where you fit in. You may be an introvert, insecure or whatever, it is important to overcome the feelings that make you feel insecure. These feelings you need to address and listen to. And then, you can overcome them and feel positive, self confident and beautiful!
Because of my studies I learned a lot about myself. I asked questions. For example: Why don’t I take care of myself in a good way? Now I help others through this process. Loving people can be so caring for others. Their own self care, health and well being sometimes becomes affected because they take better care of others instead of themselves. My work helps to undo this and begin finding the path back to self love and personal alignment.