Not finding the words
By Miranda van der Endt
Do you know the feeling when you can’t find the right words? I do. I have always had that. I think most introverted people know what I am talking about. Not being able to find the right words, is the main reason why I stopped expressing my opinion for a long time. Now I believe, you have to find a way to express your feelings, opinion and wishes, even if it is at a later moment or in a different way.
If you are an introvert, you often feel uncomfortable if you have to say something all of a sudden. In my case, I want to say something that makes sense yet it takes a while to make up what I want to say. If I can not think about it I often feel insecure, get stressed and then rather say nothing. Many times though you are obligated to respond. I tend to stutter a lot when I’m put in this kind of position. Given the time, I’ll manage, but unfortunately not everyone gives you the time to get your words out. There was a time, when I was young, that I tried to avoid this stuttering by simply not replying. I chose to let them think I was not so bright, than to force myself to say something stupid. As an adult, most of the time we can’t get away with saying nothing. For example when you are tested, like I was during my studies.
“Once my teacher asked me: What is MRI, Miranda? If I see the words I know what it means, Magnetic Resonance Imaging, but given a sudden question like that and asking me to respond immediately, I couldn’t. I stumbled…”
My teacher, was a fine person. She always asked what we thought about her teaching. I told her once I would rather listen to her talking without all the interaction, though I felt reluctant to tell her why. I used to think, “do I need to tell her, that I miss what she says if I feel stressed about having to to respond?” It is important to know that every person is different, but I feel shy, introverted people sometimes need a little extra care to be understood. We react differently, we need different communication as we don’t speak out easily. Even if I don’t respond immediately, my opinion matters. What do you think?
Miranda