By Miranda van der Endt
When I was young and someone said to me your beautiful, I didn’t believe it. I did learn to accept a compliment but never really thought it to be true. I didn’t find myself beautiful at all.
Over the years I have been dieting and during one period I lost more than 20 kg but it all came back, double. When I was pregnant with my oldest son, who was born in 2015, I was sick of it, and I let myself become really overweight. When he was born, I couldn’t bring it to myself to diet again. I just ate whatever I wanted. The result was that I became morbidly obese.
For several years I knew it was not healthy, but I couldn’t bring myself to restrict my food. I became tired, I lost all energy, and resisted every movement. I found everything I had to do, tiring. It is heavy to carry so much weight with you, but that was not all. I noticed I didn’t want people to notice me, being overweight. At the same time I was so unhappy.
I started to use my knowledge of psychology and coaching on myself. I found that it was connected to love. I noticed that many people who are overweight are very loving, caring people. I knew I could be loving to, but had a hard time letting it out as an introvert.
So I read many books on the subject, but nothing worked. Until I found something I wanted to do ever since I was young. I started studying Hypnosis. I also learned a tool to give someone a virtual gastric band. It has prevented many people from a surgery, because the virtual one is even more effective than the real version. At the start it helped me, but even that didn’t work until I found out what had been bothering me for all those years.
In life it is all perception. If you believe love is all there is, love is all you see. If you believe you can not trust others, untrustworthy people is all you see. When you don’t think you are beautiful, how can you become beautiful? If you do not treat yourself as beautiful, you don’t dress up and you fulfil your own prophecy. This is how the mind works. Life gives you what you focus on. In my mind I focused on being fat and ugly. So I believed I was, and my body responded by giving it to me. In a way my body reacted to my denial to be beautiful, by being not beautiful. I always found others to be beautiful, but not myself.
When I became older I saw, there was nothing wrong with my body when I was young. It was all-in my head. And in the end, I truly became really fat. Then I learned to appreciate myself, even with my weight. I started to take control. I took control over my eating habits and my life.
Last year I lost 15 kg and I feel great. What we focus on, is what we become. Now I focus on beauty. In me, in you, in the world. And I wish for you to see the beauty in you, the beauty in me, the beautiful world I see now, too.
Now I know I can be beautiful like everybody else. As soon as I accepted that, I was able to let myself be seen, I regained my energy, my motivation and my self confidence. I truly believe we are all beautiful. You, me, everyone. Now I feel that way about myself I’m not hiding anymore.
I found a way to become a better version of myself, to be beautiful on the inside as well as outside!
My wish is for you to know, you are beautiful as well, with beautiful talents, to feel vibrant and ready to conquer the world!